Day Twelve

12th May 2009 SCOTLAND

Kicking stones between two doors

I wake up with the sunshine coming through the window… another day of blue skies. I turn around to see that Ray has a fire going “Tea will be ready in five minutes”. I climb out of the sleeping bag and get dressed. We only have the one mug between us. Breakfast is sharing both a mug of tea, that keeps getting topped up and the oat biscuits the Rev. Donald had given me a few days back. Last night I had text Arthur back to let him know I would be in Milngavie (just north of Glasgow) on the evening of the 14th. This morning there is a message on my phone, he has already booked a room for me at the Premier Hotel in Milngavie and is going to organise a meal and welcoming party… really… oh boy… I text back ‘See you in three days’. It seems strange to have a deadline, I take the map out to double check if I have given myself enough time… I have three full days to reach Milngavie… yeah all is good, if anything I will have to slow down a little.

It’s a good job I need to slow down…Ray and I sat till mid-morning talking about I don’t know what… again this that and nothing at all. A few people pass by the bothy, Ray tells them what it is I’m doing and in return we are given a chocolate bar or a piece of fruit even a sandwich… I say thank you… but don’t feel good… this is not what the walk is about... Hmm… it kinda got me thinking what is the telling of this story all about. I know why I took the walk on. I had found myself in a space between two doors… a door of a truck that had been made redundant and the door of a classroom in the buildings of Oatridge college, and in the middle of the two doors a wide-open space. I wanted to use this in-between space well… to use Old Testament language… I wanted to make an offering… to do something that wouldn’t be easy… that is why I chose not to take the best of gear, I was ready to go hungry, get caught in the rain, to walk without money and go without shelter. I wanted to show God the better side of who I am… and maybe just maybe if I could do that, God could use that side of me for something good. Although I kept a diary of the walk this adventure was very much between God and me… so why ten years on do I put pen to paper… I think in part, when I was re-reading those diaries, I saw something of faith in action and I wanted to share that… does that sound a little arrogant or maybe even daft… I don’t know…I hope not. If I had taken money with me, I could have stayed in a hostel or a bed and breakfast every night and had three square meals a day… but I felt what I could not have done is to talk so freely about my thoughts on faith… it is because I chose to step into the world of faith, not just in God but also in the goodness of people that have seen me through this walk… by not taking money I believed it gave me a little more freedom to share the stuff that I am sharing… I also wanted to write down this story in such a way that anybody could pick it up regardless of their faith or whether they had none at all… there is a universal truth in this world… I don’t know if you remember in the introduction of this story, I talked of dropping a pencil and how it would fall to the ground regardless of what we believe… that is the kind of truth I really wanted to touch on… and yeah, I believe it can be found not just in the sciences’ but also in the different religions, in human nature, traditions and also in faith. Crumbs… I rattle on sometimes don’t I… I hope some of the thoughts above made sense into why I wanted to put pen to paper… I’m thinking best to jump back into the story.

It was close to ten when I got round to tying the laces of my boots… Ray was planning to stay another day at the bothy before heading north. He reminded me a little of Tom, the guy who had brought me breakfast a few days back at Fort William, like Tom, Ray was taking time out… I guess we all have our own journeys to walk… I think one way or another… we are all heading in the same direction, each with our own struggles and victories. I don’t know maybe at the end of our journeys we can take the load from our backs and drop it at our feet, offer it up and say something like… “This is me”.

Before stepping through the green door of the bothy, we shake hands and wish each other well in our journeys… Ray really was a good guy and I think like Tom he had little but again was more than happy to give.

The walking today is all low level, the loch itself is a sea level loch…when leaving the bothy, you first walk over a small hill (not really a hill more of a bump) before dropping down to the side of the loch… from there on, the Highland Way clings pretty tightly to the shoreline, weaving its way through the trees, that in places comes right down to the edge of the loch … the path only drifting occasionally to navigate around some wet ground, a rocky outcrop, or to following a small stream upriver for an easier place to cross and then dropping back down to the loch.

Many times, when walking I don’t think much about nothing at all… I just enjoy the walking for what it is… one foot in front of the other… this morning was very much like that. The path like me seems to be in no rush at all. the loch is as blue as the sky above, there are no roads that run down this side of the loch, the air is clear and almost still but not quite… close your eyes and stand still for a moment, you can hear the waters of the loch brushing up against the shore, the leaves high up in the canopy being pushed aside by a silent breeze, the occasional bird that had got out of bed too late for the dawn chorus singing for everything its worth… I shut my eyes tighter to try and hear more… but that I think is it… opening my eyes I see the sun light playing both on the woodland floor and the surface of the water, the hills on the far side of the loch both close and near look majestic bathed in sunshine and shade… its very peaceful here… I can understand why the path that I am on is in no hurry to reach the outskirts of the bustling city of Glasgow

No more than a few hours into the walk I stumble across a huge and impressive hotel with its own little harbour, it should look out of place… but it doesn’t at all… behind the white building of the hotel are woodlands and in front, lawns that run down to the small harbour and loch… this is the Inversnaid Hotel. The oldest part of the hotel was once a hunting lodge for the Duke of Montrose… such writers as Wordsworth and Sir Walter Scott have stayed here… with me being a writer too… I thought…hey I’m joking…but none the less, I wonder if there is a chance of a pot of tea. So here I am a scraggy looking truck driver (with no truck in sight) walking up to the entrance of this grand house, feeling like an unwashed stable boy, as I step through the entrance, I take off my imaginary cap and look for the Master… I mean the guy behind the reception… I almost say “Please sir” like Oliver Twist did when wanting more… but I don’t … I explain to the guy behind the reception (who’s name badge tells me that his name is John) about the walk that I am doing and if it would be possible to sit for a moment with a cup of tea. John shows me a table “go sit down I’ll bring you some tea… lunch is still on, would you like some scampi and chips with that tea…” and that is what happened… it was moments like this, that made me want to write this story down.

I am walking through the four nations of this country without a penny in my pocket… and yet here I am sat in a grand hotel and in front of me, a pot of Earl Grey tea, scampi, chips, peas and bread and butter. To be given a meal once, twice, maybe even three times, it could be said that I have a little luck on my side… but to be fed every day… given a bed most nights… and the days I have been caught in the rain, a place to dry my clothes… I am not that lucky… faith is stepping in here… for me faith is not mystical, nor is it seeing visions or stumbling over miracles (… nothing wrong with any of that… it’s just not what I am). To take this walk on, I knew I needed to step a little deeper into the realm of faith… to let go of who I think I am… empty my pockets, push aside preconceived ideas (far easier to say than do), next was to close my eyes… and then with the best heart I could find… make an offering… and then… yeah and then put one foot in front of the other and having the believe I would not slip, stumble, or fall.

I use the last piece of bread to wipe the plate clean, finish the pot of Earl Gray…and sit for five, ten minutes… that was a good lunch, more so because I was not expecting it. John comes over to clear the table… “Good”. “Very good… Thank you so much”. “Glad to be of some help.” John hands me a brown paper bag. “thought you might appreciate some sandwiches for later.” I lift my hand up to my cap, to nudge it up and down to show my appreciation… forgetting I don’t have a cap… instead I run my hand over the top of my head. “thank you, John, … I came in with the hope of a cup of tea… you gave me a pot of tea, a hot meal and then send me away with a supper for tonight…Thank you.”

I am again back on the path and heading south alongside the loch… blue skies and sunshine still above me… a beautiful day… only my thoughts are a million miles away. I remember the first step of this walk… I had no idea what lay ahead… I kinda remember saying on that first day that I had left any doubt I had on the bus… and I did… only I never did look back to see if Mr Doubt had stayed on the bus… and I wonder why he should come to mind now. I think of everybody that has given and then wonder at what it is I have given back … and I’m not sure if the balance is right. Still a little lost in my thoughts, I look across at the waters of the loch… and out of the blue I am reminded of when (a number of years back) I stood on the shores of the Sea of Galilee and of the story of a storm… a fishing boat that was getting thrown around in the waves, Jesus was stood on the water and told Peter to climb out of the boat and walk towards him… and he did… only some place between the boat and Jesus, Peter began to doubt and with that he started to sink… I guess on each day of this walk I need to stay focused… not just on the woodland tracks and country lanes on the map that sits in my side pocket… but also on the path that I am walking on inside my head.

I stop at a small stream that is running into the loch, refill my water bottle, kneeling down next to the stream and using my arms for support I dunk my head into the water… it is freezing… but also good… I don’t think Mr Doubt liked that at all, I turn around and I don’t see him any more… standing up I feel a whole lot better, not sure but I think Mr Blue Bird is back on my shoulder. I again enjoy the walking for what it is, one foot in front of the other… seeing how far I can kick a stone along the track before loosing it in the undergrowth. About half way down the side of Loch Lomond there is a hostel. I decide to aim for it and see what happens… I am not too worried about getting a bed… but a shower would be good, a couple of hours of kicking stones pass by before I reach Rowardennan hostel… a bigger place than I had imagined… I walk in and again talk to the guy behind the reception… and again handed a set of keys… each time I am given something I am stuck for what to say… Thank you… yes of course, but I want to say more. Earlier I talked of a falling pencil as a universal truth… I think people giving, falls into that category… people, give, that is what we do… it is how we were made.

Twenty minutes later I’m in the shower… the hot water is good… I am again clean… ready for a new day… after the shower I head to the kitchen, make myself a mug of tea and take one of the sandwiches I had been given earlier (cheese and onion… classic) and walk down to the loch… I sit on the jetty, looking out over the loch… the sun is reflecting off the water… leaving me to my own reflection… I wonder about the walking on water… hmm… maybe it is just me but I think miracles are over rated… if I had the choice of miracles or people to see me to the end of this walk… I would without doubt choose people every time.